Comments on The Erin Experiment: Stepmom's House Rules: Part 2

Erin, You are so on the right track. At one ti...

2009-10-14T07:37:53.486-05:00

Erin,

You are so on the right track.

At one time I had "House Rules" and "Children's Rights" posted on my fridge. I made it very clear to Junior that his dad's and my responsibilities towards him were to provide a roof over his head, clothes on his back, food on the table, and access to education. Everything else was a privilege that he had to earn.

You don't do X, then you don't get Y. It's that simple.

And BTW, I make Junior do his own laundry. I leave the laundry open every Tuesday for him. His clothes. His responsibility.

If you like the book you are reading, you'll like Melodie Beatty.

xo

now it makes sense. You go girl! Anonymous 3

2009-10-13T21:47:22.071-05:00

now it makes sense. You go girl!
Anonymous 3

Anonymous #3, The kids have plenty of input in the...

2009-10-13T21:21:54.631-05:00

Anonymous #3,
The kids have plenty of input in the running of the house and always have. The chores each of them do were chosen by them from a list of things around the house that need to be done. The "rule" about respect stems from everyone -- including the kids -- voicing input on wanting to be treated with respect in this house. Kids were slamming doors in the others' face, little brother was charging into big sis's room without asking, etc.

The kids have provided input and I, as the parent, have heeded it and put it into a list of "rules" or boundries, which I'll get into in an upcoming post.

you miss the point of letting the kids give their ...

2009-10-13T20:28:10.288-05:00

you miss the point of letting the kids give their input. They give the input and you take in under advisement. You're still the boss (parant) it just works so much better if they feel that they have some input. If you follow the rules you've set out (which are wonderful by the way), have sane consequences without alot of hyperbaly you'll be amazed at how much less stress you have and how much more peaceful the household is.

Yay for you!!! Kids are kids. They should get inpu...

2009-10-13T13:00:53.286-05:00

Yay for you!!! Kids are kids. They should get input when it's trivial things like what movie to watch. They don't get to have an opinion when it comes to house rules. Rules of the house are learning tools for when they go out into the real world and have to abide by the rules of society. Not only are you keeping your peace of mind, but you are doing a huge favor for them and the rest of the world if they don't go out into their adult lives with a sense of entitlement like so many of today's youth have.

Your repect is earned just like the kids respect i...

2009-10-13T12:08:32.155-05:00

Your repect is earned just like the kids respect is earned. If you DO NOT pick up after them or DO NOT respond when they didn't plan ahead and quietly enforce the rules you WILL be repected for standing behind what you require without being a nag about it.

Good for you!! Your post has me inspired to pull ...

2009-10-13T08:52:57.067-05:00

Good for you!! Your post has me inspired to pull out that list I made and just tell them all this is how it's going to be. I guess the inner people pleaser got the best of me, and I've been suffering the consequences. Lately all I feel like is the glorified baby-sitter & maid. Oh...and an extra bank because now more than just one parent works (bm doesn't work, dad works several jobs and now there is me)