Comments on The Erin Experiment: The Amazing Adventures of Stepmom and the Nomadic ...

Props to you! That is quite a task to take on and ...

2009-10-24T08:49:32.949-05:00

Props to you! That is quite a task to take on and you are handling it so well. I get caught between trying to set rules and then fear my SS wont like me if I am too strict, I am not his mother he doesnt have to love me. Plus I am dreading those few words, "you are not my mother!"

Erin, Starting in 2 weeks, I will also spend the ...

2009-10-22T05:54:50.278-05:00

Erin,

Starting in 2 weeks, I will also spend the next 18 months with a nomadic husband. Rick has 71 days of active duty training days that will take him to army posts near and far as he trains for his deployment to the mid east in August 2010. Junior is a senior in high school. His mom lives 1.5 hours south of me. So, I'll have Junior without the benefit of another parent during Rick's train-up. Fortunately, Junior turns 18 in April and graduates in June (fingers crossed) and mostly likely will live with his mom when Rick deploys.

I'm quite impressed! My experience with my Hubby'...

2009-10-21T20:37:36.352-05:00

I'm quite impressed! My experience with my Hubby's Ex has not been so good. The last few years have been horrible. It makes me sad, as in the past, I would have been able to work through things with my Hubby's Ex, and would be able to stay connected with my SD while my Hubby is gone these next few months.

Smoochies!!!

Anonymous #2 -- I get the exaustion. I really do; ...

2009-10-21T13:08:53.951-05:00

Anonymous #2 --
I get the exaustion. I really do; however, I've been in their shoes before. I've been the stepkid going from house to house and frankly, my parents didn't cut me any slack and I'm glad about that.

My mom and Father lived 2 hours away from one another so if I forgot something I was screwed.

Knowing my parents wouldn't really cover my ass was a great way to learn how important organization is to your daily life. It's probably why I'm so organized now.

Hi Erin, I marvel at you. I got fairly burnt out...

2009-10-21T12:45:14.005-05:00

Hi Erin,

I marvel at you. I got fairly burnt out when I took on being a stepmom. For me, the challenge was seeing that life was improved for the kid and her dad--extra hands to help with homework, decorating the house for holidays, etc. instead of just surviving the day-to-day--but I had to take back some of my time/energy even though it was benefitting the family...and that's been really, really hard! I'm good (like you) at filling in the gaps, at pleasing other people.

As for setting rules, I get it! I'm definitely the one who's still the most tuned in to homework deadlines, field trip permission forms, etc. not to mention chores and hygiene.

But, when the kid slips up in her responsibilities, sometimes it's because of fatigue. Stress. Wanting extra hugs. So, in terms of punishments, we do our best to see the whole child still--and it's so tough. We want them to experience consequences to prep them for the 'real' world, and also know that some of the hardest consequences (like staying organized while bouncing between houses) is already so deeply felt.

good for you! At first it's harder and almost mor...

2009-10-21T12:14:59.770-05:00

good for you! At first it's harder and almost more work to enforce the rules but in the end you have adults who can take care of themselves in a responsible way.