tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post3569402259198921321..comments2010-01-16T16:11:50.611-06:00Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00590080159710061572erin@erinexperiment.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-86048846596309433012009-10-14T07:30:53.329-05:002009-10-14T07:30:53.329-05:00Erin,<br /><br />I applaud you and I&#39;m proud of you. If I&#39;m not mistaken, your skids are old enough to do their own laundry, correct? What I do is leave the laundry room open for Junior every TUESDAY so he can wash, dry, fold and put away his own clothes. <br /><br />Because he refused to keep his room clean (not spotless, clean...as in there is a floor under those clothes) I gave to charity two thirty gallon trash bags of stuff (with the blessing of my husband).<br /><br />Ever since then, Junior&#39;s room has been the cleanest room in the house.<br /><br />&quot;Have a New Kid By Friday&quot; is one of my favorite parenting books. Because in order to change the behavior of those around you, you first have to change yours. Kind of like the Dog Whisperer...and yes, the strategies even work on husbands...Peggyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09848194956406520874noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-12948407028688447042009-10-13T10:27:27.999-05:002009-10-13T10:27:27.999-05:00There have been plenty of incentives for everyone in my house to not pitch in: why help out or be nice when Stepmom will just do this stuff for us anyway? <br /><br />I&#39;m tired of that. I allowed it to happen so these rules are a means to stop allowing my family to take advantage of me. <br /><br />I&#39;m a big fan of pointing out positives and offering rewards and will continue to do so, but I will not continue to reward people who only think about themselves and don&#39;t pitch in around the house or respect everyone else.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00590080159710061572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-59343940468594216562009-10-13T10:14:23.198-05:002009-10-13T10:14:23.198-05:00Just like any business there also has to be incentives. <br /><br />The rewards of a tidy house, no squabbling and laundry put away are only really relevant to the rule maker. <br /><br />Even employees will not continue to work in a business where their hard work is not rewarded in some way or recognised. <br /><br />In my experience as both step-daughter, Step-mum and a mother positive reinforcements that are relevant to the person doing the act - are far more easily accepted and will usually mean that they will continue to follow the rules rather than break them.<br /><br />In fact I have found that my kids sometimes break the rules just for the negative attention.Amanda {My Life Badly Written}http://www.blogger.com/profile/13078343340138441199noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-22347512077393002832009-10-12T17:32:59.913-05:002009-10-12T17:32:59.913-05:00I&#39;m not a stepmom nor do I have step-parents, but if I had to be told time after time to do something when I was kid, I defintiely suffered the consequences. My favorite pair of shoes were thrown out one time and I never left any of my shoes in the living room again. Just a thought :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-79144211933322608882009-10-12T14:10:54.918-05:002009-10-12T14:10:54.918-05:00You probably don&#39;t even need to remind them just quietly carry out the consequences laid out ahead of time. It takes more patience not to nag but you&#39;ll go further without it AND you&#39;ll feel less stressed. The trick is to be consistant.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-69923513928103805462009-10-12T14:03:47.440-05:002009-10-12T14:03:47.440-05:00Frankly I&#39;m most concerned with how everyone in the house treats Stepmom like she&#39;s the bank, maid, butler, cook, nanny and chauffeur and doesn&#39;t have a lot respect for her. I&#39;m fairly certain I have more respect for my husband and kids than they do for me. <br /><br />My goal is to remind everyone in this house that the world does not revolve around them. We all have to work together to make our family run smoothly.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00590080159710061572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-83288412434048925802009-10-12T14:00:11.682-05:002009-10-12T14:00:11.682-05:00It is all about respect for one another. They feel better for being respected and they feel better knowing their place in the family. It&#39;s funny how it all works together. Keep us posted on everyone&#39;s reactions and progress.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-15741146085307633572009-10-12T13:55:51.057-05:002009-10-12T13:55:51.057-05:00My marriage works a lot like a business partnership so I don&#39;t see why the whole family shouldn&#39;t work like a corporation (I&#39;m kidding and I&#39;m not). <br /><br />The respect and manners rules (which are actually #1 and #2) stem from previous attempts I&#39;ve made at establishing some law and order around the house. Most of the kids&#39; rules have to do with them not wanting to touch each other&#39;s stuff or to have privacy or not interrupt. I just want some peace in this house and to instill extra good manners.Erinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00590080159710061572noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-86090301912205456022009-10-12T13:42:38.836-05:002009-10-12T13:42:38.836-05:00You might want to let the kids know that your family works like a corporation and you all have to work together in order to it to be successful. When it all works well there are rewards, when it doesn&#39;t there are consequences. You might even ask if the step kids have any &quot;rules&quot; they want to add to the list, you&#39;d be surprized!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-38154862695014053882009-10-12T13:33:44.371-05:002009-10-12T13:33:44.371-05:00I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks a &quot;house rules&quot; list is a good idea. I came up with one, husband agreed to it, but then chickened out when it came time to talk to the kids about it. These are great rules and I do not see why they would be so hard to follow. <br /><br />Good luck!brandilouwhohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11475082108627820709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8732324277704529787.post-80171396850241762972009-10-12T12:43:16.891-05:002009-10-12T12:43:16.891-05:00The trick will be to inforce the rules without nagging. Reminding them of the rules over and over doesn&#39;t work. Just following through in a quiet firm way.<br /><br />Good Luck!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com