One of the reasons I haven't written on this blog as often as I used to is that I've reached a happy place. More often than not, I find myself smiling at the person I've become in these last 8 years and how going against my maternal intuition by stepping back brought such clarity into my life.
I remember feeling confused and frustrated when I first came into my stepfamily. I wanted to be liked and loved and most of all, respected no matter what I did, nothing seemed to work. This blog was (and is) a great outlet for figuring out where I fit in.
Getting to where I am now included the growth of a much thicker skin, a few battle wounds and humongous doses of self esteem and self awareness. As uncomfortable as it's been at times, I wouldn't trade this journey in for anything.
When I think of advice that I give new stepmoms who aren't sure what to do or where they fit in I'm tempted to start thinking like I'm giving a speech to a crowd full of graduating seniors. I search my brain for bits of wisdom and words of advice that won't send them screaming back to the halls they've waited years to leave.
For every worrisome or negative issue I hear from a fellow stepmom, I like to impart a positive story. Call me Susie Sunshine, but I find focusing on the positive to be much more effective and much less draining way to make it through each day.
We all have our moments of pure insanity, but in my heart of hearts, I have to believe there are stepmoms out there who are making it work and who love their stepfamily life. If this sounds like you, then I want to hear about it. I'm writing a piece for an upcoming issue of StepMom magazine that will highlight happy stepmoms. I'd love to know what advice you have or what has worked for you. Where do you find your happiness? How do you handle the highs and lows of being a stepmom? Who can you count on to get you back to happy?
Let me know via email or in the comments how you make it work.