Stepmom (and body) Angst...be gone!

What a difference a month makes. This time last month I was seriously distressed about the state of my physical union. I was trying to lose weight and nothing seemed to be moving my metabolism hard enough to get the number on the scale to move.

In the post last month, I wrote about submitting to something as being part of the key ingredients to moving past a problem. Ironically enough, what I submitted to was food.

I visited a nutritionist shortly after that blog post. She applauded me for my food diary and my workouts. She said most of what I was doing was great except for my food intake. Where I thought I was doing my body a service by keeping the calories low, I learned that it was the worst thing for me to have done that. I was encouraged to eat more calories per day and to give myself food breaks throughout the day to nourish myself and replenish my energy.

Would you believe I lost 10 pounds after I started eating food? I enjoyed the food that crossed my lips and I didn't stress about the increased calories I was consuming. Once I noticed that the one thing I was afraid of was actually the best thing for me I took a hold of it and haven't let go.

I'm also proud to report I WON the weight loss contest at work. With 8.1% of my weight gone, I took home first prize of all the women in my company. I still have more to go but I'm on the right track and I've never felt better in my life.

Looking my food fear in the face reminded me about how I've also overcome my fear of disappointing my stepfamily. I remember not so long ago being afraid that if I didn't do something for someone that they'd stop loving me. I have vivid memories of feeling depleted because I was consumed with anger. I was angry at everyone for leaving me in the position I was in. I felt alone and overly responsible and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone about that without hearing what a selfish bitch I was.

Something switched in me though. I stopped being overly responsible and I started remembering that I was a a good person inside and out and no one could take that away from me. Peggy Nolan and our radio show's mantra of "don't take it personally because those are someone else's issues" resonated with me. I adopted it as my own mantra and haven't looked back.

Remembering that people's issues are their own has helped me tremendously. I no longer worry that someone in my stepfamily doesn't or won't love me. I'm doing the best job I can and those who take issue with it have only themselves to contend with.