I'm still here. Still trying to write aforementioned tales; however, the current tales of my life involve trying to keep my head above the water that is work and committee commitments.Oy to the vay my friends. Mama needs a cocktail.
I'm a firm believer in explaining things via bullet points so if you care to keep up with the goings-on in ErinExperimentLand then pull up a chair and start reading.
- I've totally sucked at saying no to things and I'm probably working on an ulcer right now. Apparently the pneumonia of March 2011 wasn't enough of a reminder to slow my shit down. I'm still running on all cylinders and have acquired a chronic nagging stomachache and fatigue (and no, I'm not pregnant. The hubs is 'without swimmers' and I'm infertile). As soon as the conference I'm the chairperson for wraps up in August, I'm taking a month-long vacation from planning things.
- I'm trying to keep a low-drama life. I've really tried to adhere to the 'walk away from drama' sentiment I put in this March 30 blog post. I find myself not wanting to get involved in things that can create conflict.
- An example of not wanting to get involved in drama-filled conflict is this Stepfamily Letter Project post. As of today, we have 54 comments of bio-moms, stepmoms and fathers trying to explain the legalities of parenting. As creator of the site, I am responsible for approving the comments and letters and ladies and gents, this one has seen the most action of all of our letters. In a nutshell, the letter-posting parent feels that the stepparent is 'expendable.' I've written about 3 blog posts on my own blog about expendable stepparents since the comments started rolling in yet I haven't posted them because I want to stay out of the drama.
- In other stepmom projects, I've tried to keep my opinions out of the Stepchicks forum. Apparently my self-awareness-induced advice comes across as intimidating to some so rather than defend my own advice, I've just opted to stop responding. Observing rather than responding has prompted me to inquire within as to whether or not we stepmoms are our own worst enemies.
- I've also been trying to sustain a happy marriage. When your husband travels a lot (like mine does) and you live alone most of the time (like I do), the notion of a normal marriage goes right out the window. My normal is trying to enjoy being alone but not letting the loneliness become palpable. I'm trying to focus on the positive instead of the million and one studies that show long distance marriages are doomed for divorce.
- I'm also trying to focus on the good things my stepfamily has going for it, particularly that we all get along. When one of us is in need, we all tend to pitch in and help rather than let the fallen fend for him or herself. There are probably a hundred little nit-picking things I could nag about when it comes to my family, but I make the choice not to. I think there's something to be said for making the choice to be happier.
- Lastly, I've opted to shut out the haters. There were several websites and/or blog posts that I was glued to around Mother's Day because they had pieces about stepmothers. I started to develop a horrible feeling in my gut when I would read the hateful comments some people had about stepmoms or stepparents in general. I wanted to lurch through my computer screen and grab the people by their anonymous hateful shoulders and shake some sense into them. But then I opted to stay calm and carry on. As Peggy, my stepmom life coach would say -- via Miguel Ruiz's wonderful words: Don't Take It Personally. Good advice given most people hate for a reason -- not because they know me personally.
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