Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Sit Down -- You're Rocking the Boat
Boat Rocking Effect: As in, please keep your mouth shut on X, Y or Z, because it might disrupt the peaceful harmony we have going on. This is also known as: It's nice that you have an opinion but please keep your mouth shut or don't do [that] if it's not going to promote good will among the two houses.
I completely understand the importance of household harmony. If everyone is working together for the greater good, then all should be well in familyland...right?
That sort of sentiment works well in a fairy tale. Except real people have real emotions. One member of my family may want one thing, but if I don't agree with that I either have to sit on my opinion and stew about it or voice my opinion and wait for the wrath to come.
And I hate that. I'm a vocal person by nature. I like to be able to say what I'm thinking and to either a) not worry that a pair of knickers or two won't get twisted in a knot or b) not worry that I don't have the backing of the people that love me.
I'm happy that both houses can work harmoniously; however I feel let down by the fact that no one 'has my back' should I want to disagree or raise my voice about something.
For example: Say I disagree about a field trip one of the kids wants to attend. Both parents can agree or disagree publicly about it but if I mention my agreement or disagreement, I get the behind-the-door-while-no-one-is-listening-or-watching discussion on how I should keep my opinion to myself because I'm disrupting family harmony.
Doesn't that just drive you up a wall? I can't be alone on this. Please tell me other stepmoms are boat rockers too!
So the thing is, how do we deal with this? How do we stay true to ourselves while not feeling like we want to get out of said boat and just swim away to somewhere more peaceful?
Let's get a conversation going in the comments because I'd really like to know how I can stop feeling like I'm going to tip over the SS Family Harmony every time I open my mouth.