More than you ever really wanted to know about the Erin behind the Experiment

I'm a list whore. It doesn't matter what, where or when, if I'm idle it usually means I'm usually making a list somewhere in my head, on my iPhone or on actual paper.

Because it is no where near my 34th birthday and because I'm sick in a hotel room right now, it seemed only appropriate for me to rattle off a list of 33 things about me you may, or may not, have ever wanted to know. Feel free to ask me more although I'm pretty sure by the end of this list you'll know me better than my husband, my mother and my gynocologist.

1. I am a Stepkid as well as a Stepmom. I attribute nearly all of my rockin' good Stepmom'img skills to my Mom and Stepdad. My mom showed me how to be a caring person; my Stepdad showed me how to be a great stepparent. 
2. I can be a cold-hearted bitch at the most inopportune times.
3. I'm a cynical romantic
   
4. I don't like babies. I have been pregnant once but never carried to full term.To this day, I can't stand being around any baby younger than 6 months. 
5. I have two younger siblings that are 18 years younger than I am.
   
6. I think I love my stepchildren more than they love me.
7. I've never been arrested, but I've helped my Mom avoid a speeding ticket
   
8. My favorite food is Pizza
9. My favorite restaurant is Chipotle Mexican Grill
10. My favorite cartoon is South Park
11. I loathe ignorant people and laziness
12. I have serious road rage issues
13. I have Irritable Bowel Syndrome which often leaves me running for a bathroom at the most inconvenient times.
14. I love sex. 
15. I lost my virginity when I was 23 to a guy I can barely remember and whom I met in an AOL chat room
    
16. I have my black garter "belt" in pole dancing from my local pole dancing studio.
    
17. I'm not in pole dance "performer" shape, but I still love to grind the pole and do as many tricks as I can.
18. I have a great rack which I love to show off
    
19. Tequila will make me do just about anything
20. When I get drunk, I get flirty which pisses my husband off to no end. 
21. When I'm arguing with my husband or stepkids, I pack a suitcase so that I can leave at a moment's notice if I need or want to.
22. I like being alone yet I hate being lonely
23. I fill my emotional voids by eating
24. I love Oreos and leftover lasagna (but not together)
25. My favorite movie is the Wizard of Oz
26. I used to equate a happy marriage with long naps together on cold days; now I consider marriage happy if the couple is managing to speak to one another civilly
    
27. I'm writing a memoir about love, marriage and stepfamilyhood
28. I'm not religious and I don't believe in God; I do believe in Buddha
    
29. My husband and I have an unusual marriage. He doesn't believe in unconditional love or that the woman is always right. Similarly, I don't believe he's my soul mate or that we'll spend our golden years together hand in hand. (More like locked in debates about finances or politics)
30. I sometimes hate my husband's travel schedule, but I realize it gives me plenty of time to be alone and do things I like to do around the house which I like more than having him home.
    
31. I consider myself a single stepmom
32. I believe there's a special place in heaven for people like me
33. I hate quitting, admitting I'm wrong and giving up just because it's easy
    

Graphic: Bruno Maia, IconTexto, http://www.icontexto.com