The skinny on being a good role model

I think I may have reached the lowest of the low points this week. I wore Spanx underneath my Karate Gi. I wasn't trying to be snarky or cute. My dojo-required uniform pants have gotten so snug that it hurts to pull them on every Wednesday night.

After I came home from Karate and peeled off my Spanx, I vowed then and there to treat my body better than I have.

I refuse to diet. I won't crash diet or take supplements. I'll try to eat healthier and will understand that the Oreos in the pantry aren't going anywhere. I don't need to inhale them all in one night. Most importantly, I know I need to work on my Inner Erin as well as my Outer Erin if I'm going to make this work.

Immediately after the Spanx incident, I posted a Tweet that read something along the lines of: have reached lowest of the low; wearing Spanx under my Karate gi. Please send help in the form of weight loss inspiration.

I had a few responses, one of which was to read a book about taking the weight off fast and to take a supplement. I'm sure there are a lot of methods out there that people have used to lose weight and gain muscle but if I want to do this the right way, I have to do it the healthy way.

You see, someone very close to me is recovering from an eating disorder. This person is near and dear to my heart and they also look up to me as a role model.

Sometimes I'm not sure how to be a role model to this person. I have my own issues with food and body image. Where as my near-and-dear person is working on trying to eat more, I pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster every night that I can make it through the evening eating less.

It sometimes feels like a no-win situation.

I see my near-and-dear a lot and have them over to my house quite often. As part of the recovery, there can be no diet this or that in the house. In addition, there should be choices -- lots of them.

One of the things you hear about when trying to recover from an illness is that a strong support system is one of the most important factors to your recovery.

Unfortunately, with my husband gone and my family a good 20+ miles away, my support systems is purely electronic. Don't get me wrong. I love each and every person who reminds me that I can turn to them if I need support. You have no idea how loved that makes me feel.

No, what I need is the friend or spouse I can call in the middle of the night when I want to munch on a bag of Doritos. I need that person who will tell me the Doritos will just make me feel bad the next morning. I need a friendly hand-slap when I want a second helping of something sinfully delicious. I need a hotline.

I sometimes wonder if I'm being a bad role model to my near-and-dear person by not having more control over my own life. I know this person has a good support system in place and I admit, I'm envious.

I'm a grown woman with a good head on her shoulders, yet this is one of the things I can't seem to get a handle on by myself.

So I ask you my wonderful blog readers: do you have any advice for faking a support system in order to be a better role model?