My lovelies, it was difficult to take a real blogcation. I was near a computer every day and thought of funny or introspective things to write constantly which made it hard to take a real blogcation. No bother. I'm back and in more rested form.
I realize I'm sort of mum about some of the details of my life. Some of that is on purpose while others are because I never know who reads me and friends me on Facebook; who reads me and follows me on Twitter or who reads me and knows the phone or in-person me. I'm authentic through and through but depending on when and where you hear from me, I tend to relay more details about my life.
So, I thought I'd use this re-introductory post to answer any questions of squash and rumors before they fester into facts.
If there is anything I don't cover here, please leave me a question in the comments and I'll answer in an upcoming post.
Q. What is your living situation? What's this about your husband not living with you?
A. It's true, my husband has been living abroad (or a-coastal) since late February of this year. He "relocated" (I can't think of a better word) for work because technical jobs that he specializes in are in higher abundance on the West Coast. He typically comes home around midnight on Friday's (guess who is picking him up at the airport?) and then flies back to the place from wince he came on Sunday late morning. He spends about 36 hours in my company; about 12-24 hours with the kids as often as he can.
I couldn't stand the thought of his travel getting in the way of my not seeing my stepkids so I keep up the status quo at "Dad's" house: I pick the youngest up from after school camp nearly every day and the oldest hangs out after school at our/Dad's house until 6-7 when their mom picks them up. Thursday nights they're with me all night and on weekends when their mom needs to do something or be somewhere for work.
Q. Are you nuts for doing all of that while you're husband is away?
A. I choose to believe this is a temporary thing will only build my character and perhaps some day make me look back and wonder how (or why) in the hell I ever did this. I also have to look at it this way: My husband is earning a paycheck and isn't home stressing about doctor bills or other things out of our control.
Q. Doctor bills?
A. Earlier this year one my stepkids was diagnosed with an illness that has required long-term treatment. I don't get into the details on FB or on my blog any more than that for the sake of the person with the illness or out of respect for my family. Unfortunately, the diagnosis coincided with my husband's leave to the West Coast which has put some additional stresses on the family mostly because we're not all in the same place at the same time to have big important treatment conversations.
Q. I take it you get along with your stepkids' mom?
A. She and I get along really well. Her family even likes me which I consider a major bonus. I'm extremely lucky in that regard. It's interesting how a family crisis can bring you together or tear you apart. She and I have become very close since my husband relocated. She would be the first to tell you that she considers me the best thing to have come out of she and my husband's divorce.
Q. Have you always gotten along?
A. We've never hated each other, but we haven't always been as close as we are now. There have been moments where I've wanted to scream her name in vain while I threw things (and likewise she about me I'm sure). We've had our rough patches and I'm sure we will have some as we (and the kids) get older. She and my husband have been responsible for some real zingers that have broken my heart in the last 6 years, but I've overcome it and moved on (with a stronger sense of self).
Q. Do you ever plan to have your own children?
A. I did plan on it, once. I actually got pregnant, but then I miscarried and couldn't get pregnant again. I was really frustrated that my body wasn't cooperating so I put my creative mind to work and started a little thing called Stepchicks. I dilly-dallied in social media and somehow birthed a few websites that have become these bigger than I ever expected entities that I couldn't be happier about.
Q. What else is there to know about you?
A. I'm a stepchild myself. I have a stepfather and a stepmom and my Mom and Dad are still alive. My Stepdad has been a major stepparent mentor to me. We had times where we didn't get along, but he never let on how hard it was to love a kid that wasn't your flesh and blood. Since becoming a stepparent, I find myself hugging my Stepdad more and telling him how much I love him.
I also have a half brother and a half sister who are almost 16. (That's an 18 year age difference for those wondering at home). They are tremendously gifted both with brains and talent. I give my mom a lot of credit for that. Somehow, with 2 different fathers, all of her kids have managed to become these fascinating creatures that don't let a lot of things get in their way.
Q. Are you for real?
A. I 100% am. I realize I sometimes sound like a freak of nature. I get along with my stepkids' mom, I fill in for my travelling husband and I love my siblings and stepparents. Believe me when I say I have demons coming out of my ass (ewwwwwww....bad, but funny, word choice). I am on an anti-depressant which I fear isn't working, I can no longer afford to see a therapist, I've gained a lot of weight since my husband left, I am prone to bouts of enormous self-pity and am quick to become mentally exhausted. Some people call that dealing with stress, I call them my own personal character flaws.
And so there you have it.....a few Q&A's to get the old juices reflowing again. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to do something about those demons and my ass.