I'm exhausted, depressed and lonely.
I just found out my husband had to schedule a third trip to China which keeps him away from home for the last half of October. Upon his return I still have no idea -- nor does he -- if he's back out West, at home or off to live some place else.
Work is proving to be a challenge mostly because I'm not getting a lot of support where I need it from some of my teammates (instead of cheering on my digital efforts, I get a "nah, bad idea).
My house is sort of messy and I'm discovering -- thanks to progress reports -- that one of the kids is nearly failing half of their classes.
All of this negativity and sad loneliness is dragging me deeper into what I suspect might evolve into my very first nervous breakdown.
I'm not entirely sure what a nervous breakdown feels like. According to my good friend wikipedia, a nervous or mental breakdown is when you "snap." I'm not sure I'm ready to snap. More like curl into a big ball on my bed and not get up for a month.
This scares me a little because we're still in the fairly new into Fall and we haven't even gotten close to Winter weather and I'm already more depressed than usual. I'm sure I'm not quite at breakdown level. More like burnt out with a side order of depression.
I'd give anything for a two week sojourn to my mother in law's beach house in Washington state where there is no t.v. but fresh fish for miles. Ahhh, if only.
Why am I writing this seemingly out of the blue post? Because I think I'm going to take a blogcation for the rest of the week and I don't want anyone to wonder what happened to that Erin chick who writes that experiment blog.
Until next week....
p.s., should I actually have a nervous breakdown, I'll be sure to send a postcard :-)
9 comments:
You may not have the chance to have a "two-week-getaway" to the beach house, but I'm sure you can find ways to (guess what?) take care of yourself!
You know, the thing that every stepmom book talks about and that is SO HARD to remember when things get rough? (Wait a minute, am I talking to you or am I talking to myself?)?
Take a deep breath. Be gentle with Erin. She's your best friend avec she needs your help...
Remember that stepchicks (the real chicks, not the project "on your to-do list") are always there for you. I am myself in a difficult time right now (sorry, my English sucks. Or at least this last phrase does) and I found a lot of support there...
It's OK to feel the way you feel. Feelings don't mean there is something wrong with you. And no, you can't control them (it's a bummer, I know).
Erin, you are a wonderful, dedicated, focused person. I don't even know you that much and it just shows. (Other Frend-English weird phrase). So I think it's time that Erin (yes, that's you) benefits from all your good qualities. You deserve it. Do what you need to do, but be gentle, forgiving and kind with youself.
(I just re-read what I've written and I think it sounds clumsy, but I'm sending it anyway, because I know, somehow, what it in my heart will get through to your heart.)
Take care !
You may not have the chance to have a "two-week-getaway" to the beach house, but I'm sure you can find ways to (guess what?) take care of yourself!
You know, the thing that every stepmom book talks about and that is SO HARD to remember when things get rough? (Wait a minute, am I talking to you or am I talking to myself?)?
Take a deep breath. Be gentle with Erin. She's your best friend avec she needs your help...
Remember that stepchicks (the real chicks, not the project "on your to-do list") are always there for you. I am myself in a difficult time right now (sorry, my English sucks. Or at least this last phrase does) and I found a lot of support there...
It's OK to feel the way you feel. Feelings don't mean there is something wrong with you. And no, you can't control them (it's a bummer, I know).
Erin, you are a wonderful, dedicated, focused person. I don't even know you that much and it just shows. (Other Frend-English weird phrase). So I think it's time that Erin (yes, that's you) benefits from all your good qualities. You deserve it. Do what you need to do, but be gentle, forgiving and kind with youself.
(I just re-read what I've written and I think it sounds clumsy, but I'm sending it anyway, because I know, somehow, what it in my heart will get through to your heart.)
Take care !
maratrejoyeuse - votre englais was tres perfect. Merci mon amie!
What a hard place to be - knowing you need a break but not really able to take enough of one to get you back to where you're not feeling burned out. :/ This year has thrown so much at you that I can't imagine being in your shoes and NOT feeling like spending a month in bed!
I wish I had some magic words to make everything better, but since I don't, please know that I'm thinking of you often, and I hope things ease up on you sooner rather than later.
*hugs*
I hope things get better. Email me anytime if you need to vent. Life is crazy, and we all need a little break. You deserve yours!!
I'll miss you while you are away from your blog. I check it everyday! But, rest is needed at times.
Take care!
Hugs!
Erin...(sigh...passes martini your way)...I have walked in your shoes. Take a break. Take care of you. Love yourself first. Call me...I'm here for ya!
Erin,
Sorry to hear you are blue:( Treat yourself sweetly and remember you have a sisterhood out here who adore you.
IR
Y'know, I did see that American Airlines has a fare sale to Austin :-P Hmmmmmmmm.
You know you are always welcome to the beach place. Just tell me when to pick up up at the airport!
Try to take it one day at a time (or at times one minute at a time!)
Love you
Mom2
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