There seems to be a trend among my fellow stepmom blog friends and their nearly 6-year old stepchildren: all of them seem to be exhibiting behavior problems.
For my friend AliceNelson (great blog name, wish I would have thought of it!), her nearly 6-year-old is throwing tantrums left and right.
For me, my nearly 6-year-old stepson has gotten in the habit of hitting people at school.
I know in my case, my husband, his ex and I have talked to the little guy; we've tried to figure out why he's hitting; we've encouraged him to use words rather than actions. Our tries seem to have worked a little, he's managed to reduce his hitting to one or two times a week.
But the question I would like to have answered is...is it a stepmom thing to not be able to get the reasoning behind the behavior? I read somewhere on iVillage that stepparents can have the tendency to be harsher on their stepchildren because they didn't have the opportunity to know the child since birth.
While that could be true, I wonder if there is something to the bio-mom/step-mom thing for understanding the behavior?
3 comments:
You are a kindred spirit! Those are my thoughts exactly. There are times when I am amazed at the patience and tolerance Mr.Brady exudes. Your question will continue to ramble on in my head, "Does it take a bio mom to know this stuff?".
I really look forward to reading the comments in this thread :)
While I am sure many bio-moms will love to tell you yes, only they have the tolerance and ability to understand their kids... For me, I know it took time, and willingness on both sides (the child's and mine).
The oldest, as of now, his mom was in his life two years longer then I have been in his life, I know him just about inside out, why he has his melt downs and what helps cheer him up. His bio-mom, doesn't. The middle child, I have been in her life exactly the same amount of time her bio-mom was, again, I know that girl inside out. I know when she is crushing a boy, has secrets, and is lieing. Her mom, doesn't though she will love to tell everyone she knows her daughter well... The youngest, I have been in his life longer then his mom was.. He has been the problem, he has been the one to not let me in. I have tried and tried and tried. He lets his wall come down now and then, but as of now, he lets non in, not his father, me, or his bio-mom. He clings to something no one knows, I have been the only mom he has known, but he doesn't see me as mom. So he throws his fits. He tells his lies. And until he takes down his wall, I will never know why, I can guess, I can speculate, but I will never truly know.
Well said.
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